Declaration of independence

June 4, 2014 § 22 Comments

So, it’s my birthday today, and I bought myself a present a couple of weeks ago – a new stud.

No, no, not that kind of stud – a piercing. A tiny bit of bling adorning my right nostril.

Mid-life crisis? Perhaps. But an entirely good one. Because at the ripe old age of 45 (although officially, I’m 21) I’ve decided that the way to happiness is to Live My Truth. Yes, I’m going all Oprah on your ass.

You see, I’m a people pleaser. I was the good girl at school – good grades, lots of leadership positions, head girl. I’ve never smoked, I’m not a big drinker, I didn’t sow my wild oats. I did all the things that were expected of me. I still do, to a large extent. And in a plethora of ways, I have done myself a huge disservice. Huge.

But I’m done. My time has come. My time has come.

And the stud? Well, it’s something I always wanted, but was too afraid to get because of the reactions it might invoke from those closest to me.Yes, that tiny little speck of glass has incredible power in my world, because piercings are not something that people like me get. Just trust me. There will be a reaction. There already has been.

But I don’t care. I like it. It makes me happy and it doesn’t harm anyone else. And it is a literal in-my-face reminder for me, every day, to be who I am, and stop living my life for everybody else, and according to everyone else’s expectations.

This is who I am becoming. It’s my time now.


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§ 22 Responses to Declaration of independence

  • And that was not a blog aimed at fishing for birthday greetings, I promise! 😀


  • Charmain says:

    I’ve never met you, Mandy, but love your blog posts – this one even more than the others. Your little bling rebellion inspires me. Thank you! And happy birthday


  • Roshanak Whitehouse says:

    Happy Birthday Mandy. And good for you for doing something YOU like despite what others might think.
    Most of us live a life to please others so you are not alone there. But, to get something as little as a stud is a good start to live a life that pleases you. A reminder that you are important too.


  • Kit says:

    From a fellow good girl and people pleaser, well done! Enjoy your birthday in all things.
    I wish that a stud was what I wanted, but it isn’t so I’ll have to go looking elsewhere for my act of independence


  • Go girl go. Time to be bad and have lots of fun. Enjoy the rest of your birthday.


  • “May the blue bird of happiness fly up your nose”


  • As a former good girl and people-pleaser, a generally Polite Person, I found that I was not myself, but whom others wanted me to be. After discarding that self and slowly and deliberately, and painfully, recreating myself I have found the greatest freedom, the greatest happiness. It is completely worth it, Mandy, and you will be surprised at how being your true self is the only way to truly please people. Because they will be happy for you. Because instead of interacting with them in the guise of you who should be, you’re interacting with them as you, which will force them to interact with you as themselves. There really is no greater gift to yourself or others. Well done, because what you are doing is hugely courageous; and keep going, one metaphorical and non-metaphorical stud at a time!


  • Di Brown says:

    Congratulations on being you, and loving it. May your shiny nostril glint proudly and remind you to never apologise for who you are. Tip: and the answer to the inevitable questions from your offspring is “when you are 45 you may pierce whatever you like!”
    Happy glinting glass in your nose day. Turn it into a diamond!


  • Nicole says:

    Love your bling rebellion – so inspiring. I’m thinking of buying a new DSTV decoder – and how boring am I in comparison 🙂 Happy day once again


  • Joan says:

    Happy happy birthday!!! Love it – you’re amazing as you are bling or no bling…


  • Rebelling against your old “self” is the most positive move forward. Congrats!


  • Vernon says:

    Happy birthday Mandy! I thought your letter to your girls was brilliant, and now I think this is your best personal action ever! Excuse this old man’s comments!
    I had one ear pierced at 50 with a small gold ring. What a difference that little action made in my life and I hope you discover many positive freedoms from your birthday present to yourself.
    A book that has been enlightening for me is: Richard Rohr – “Falling Upward” Worth a look!
    Life has begun all over again!


  • kerryhaggard says:

    LOVE it. Makes me think it might be time to have my belly button re-pierced…


  • Lynn says:



  • Gus Silber says:

    A link to your blogpost just popped up on my phone, Mandy, so may I wish you a very happy day-after-birthday, and all the days after that, and may the jewel on your nose catch the light and shine, and lead you on many interesting and rewarding adventures in your 22nd year and beyond!


  • mariekeates says:

    Happy belated birthday! My act of good girl rebellion was to get a tattoo at the ripe old age of forty. Fourteen years on I don’t regret my little shoulder adornment one bit! 🙂


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