We need to talk about men
March 8, 2017 § 8 Comments
It might seem strange that I’m writing about men on International Women’s Day, but I just saw another of those ‘men are trash’ tweets, and I wanted to weigh in.
There’s a prevailing ideology on social media in particular, that men are appalling human beings. Look, I concede it’s still very much a man’s world, and they haven’t done a stellar job of running it on the whole, but this sweeping generalisation that men are trash and women, somehow, are superior to them in every way, is starting to get up my nose.
At this point, some of you will be poised to call me a men’s rights advocate, or wait for me to hashtag the post #notallmen. Go right ahead. I’m saying this anyway. It isn’t all men. You’re just hanging around some crappy ones.
I’ve spent two or three years going through a very difficult time, and my girlfriends have been supportive and kind and helpful. And guess what? So have my male friends. They’ve looked out for me in a myriad different ways, helped with this or that, and sometimes just dropped me a line to see how I’m doing.
They are good men, all of them. They’re great husbands, boyfriends, brothers, uncles, fathers and friends – and it’s just who they are.
By the same token, all of those things women accuse men of on social media, are also perpetrated by women. We are no better than men. It’s true we don’t sexually assault men they way they rape women. And I’m not trying to minimise that in anyway – let me be very clear here. But again, it’s not all men. And I’ve know women who are hugely abusive, who cheat, who lie and steal and treat the men in their lives like shit. We are far from being paragons of virtue, if you’re going to start generalising honestly.
Because the bottom line is this – we’re all just human beings. And some of us are good people, on balance, and some of us aren’t. So if you’re constantly being disappointed or mistreated by men, I’d suggest that, perhaps, you just need to leave those humans behind and find some better humans to hang out with, regardless of gender.
And a final point – when you’re spouting your ‘All men are trash’ nonsense, it’s as sexist as ‘all women are stupid’. That’s not feminism, it’s misandry.