We need to talk about men

March 8, 2017 § 8 Comments

It might seem strange that I’m writing about men on International Women’s Day, but I just saw another of those ‘men are trash’ tweets, and I wanted to weigh in.

There’s a prevailing ideology on social media in particular, that men are appalling human beings. Look, I concede it’s still very much a man’s world, and they haven’t done a stellar job of running it on the whole, but this sweeping generalisation that men are trash and women, somehow, are superior to them in every way, is starting to get up my nose.

At this point, some of you will be poised to call me a men’s rights advocate, or wait for me to hashtag the post #notallmen. Go right ahead. I’m saying this anyway. It isn’t all men. You’re just hanging around some crappy ones.

I’ve spent two or three years going through a very difficult time, and my girlfriends have been supportive and kind and helpful. And guess what? So have my male friends. They’ve looked out for me in a myriad different ways, helped with this or that, and sometimes just dropped me a line to see how I’m doing.

They are good men, all of them. They’re great husbands, boyfriends, brothers, uncles, fathers and friends – and it’s just who they are.

By the same token, all of those things women accuse men of on social media, are also perpetrated by women. We are no better than men. It’s true we don’t sexually assault men they way they rape women. And I’m not trying to minimise that in anyway – let me be very clear here. But again, it’s not all men. And I’ve know women who are hugely abusive, who cheat, who lie and steal and treat the men in their lives like shit. We are far from being paragons of virtue, if you’re going to start generalising honestly.

Because the bottom line is this – we’re all just human beings. And some of us are good people, on balance, and some of us aren’t. So if you’re constantly being disappointed or mistreated by men, I’d suggest that, perhaps, you just need to leave those humans behind and find some better humans to hang out with, regardless of gender.

And a final point – when you’re spouting your ‘All men are trash’ nonsense, it’s as sexist as ‘all women are stupid’. That’s not feminism, it’s misandry.

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§ 8 Responses to We need to talk about men

  • Ann says:

    What a great post! I agree completely

    Like

  • Generally we keep arguing about human nature
    He is this
    He is that
    but besides everyone has a sweet part that is hidden from everyone else..
    you can just keep ignoring what is not good..
    Great post..totally agreed

    Like

  • Kit says:

    misandry – good word. Completely agree. Lucky to have some good men in my life too.

    Liked by 1 person

  • dave says:

    Perfectly balanced article. Brave writing. I learnt a new word too!

    Liked by 1 person

  • Claire Wood says:

    Thank you for this. I have a son, who I am doing my level best to raise as a considerate, compassionate, moral human being (just as I would a daughter, actually) so that he doesn’t become the reason behind a “men are trash” comment some day. But the continuous message out there that woman=good, man=bad makes me really worry for him. It’s not healthy and, as you quite correctly point out, it’s not always right.

    Liked by 2 people

  • cheapjeepcreep27 says:

    If it weren’t for the language, I’d definitely reblog this. You’re so right. I’ve been treated like trash for being a guy, and I’m one of the good ones! There’s plenty of bad men out there, but good grief there’s a few good ones too!

    Like

  • Thabo says:

    All this time, I never thought of what the antonym was for misgonyst. Or is it male equivalent rather than antonym? Generalising is always a non – starter and can never be accurate, so this is a good example. Problem is, many find comfort in that generalising approach, so it’s hard to convince them otherwise

    Like

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