10 things I want my daughters to know

My darling girls,

Sometimes I want to tell you things about life that I suspect you’re not ready to hear yet. But someday you might be, so here are a few things I’ve learned, and am still learning, which I hope will help you some day.

1. I will never love anybody the way I love you. Even when I’m angry with you, or tired and grumpy, or yelling at you to do your homework or hang up your towel, I love you with every cell in my body.

2. The world really is your oyster, and you are already magnificent pearls. I look at you every day – every freaking day – and marvel at how strong and beautiful you are. Yes, you’re both beautiful on the outside, but that’s not what interests me. You both have beautiful minds, beautiful souls, beautiful hearts. You make me so proud that the tears well in my eyes and my chest wants to explode with the intensity of it. I can barely believe I had anything to do with creating such splendid human beings.

3. You have weaknesses. But it’s okay, because so does everyone else. We all have them, and it’s part of what makes us interesting. Don’t dwell on them. Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t waste energy lamenting them. Be honest with yourself by all means, but work on those you can improve, forget the rest and focus instead on your strengths. Because you have far more of those, and they are what will propel you through life. Be proud of your strengths, don’t squander them, and use your powers for good.

4. You don’t know everything (despite what your adolescent brains believe). You never will. Stay curious, ask questions, investigate and question everything. Don’t take things at face value – find out for yourself, and life will be an endless adventure.

5. You will make mistakes – it’s unavoidable, and it’s how we learn. Learn the lesson, and keep going. It’s character-building, and it makes you interesting.

6. No matter how well you plan, things go wrong. But that’s how memories are made. Stay calm, and focus on what’s really important. Because the way you respond to life’s curveballs will make all the difference to your emotional wellbeing.

7. The world doesn’t owe you anything. Work your butt off to get what you want, and don’t give up. Things take longer to come to fruition than you think they do. There is no magic bullet. It will be hard, but it will also be worth it when you get there.

8. Travel and read at every opportunity. Those two activities will teach you more than any university can ever teach you. That’s how you get an education. That’s how you expand your mind.

9. Be kind and gentle. It applied in playschool, and it applies equally in the adult world. Life is hard for many people – a kind word and a gentle touch go a long way.

10. Have fun. Lawdie, this is important. Life is about balance – and what’s the point if you aren’t enjoying it? Make friends, do silly stuff, laugh often. That’s what adds the colour to life. That’s what makes it sing.

I love you.

Mom